Everything You Need To Know About The Whoop 5.0

If the words “screen-less fitness band” make you think of a glorified wristband, it might be time to revisit Whoop. The wearable brand just dropped its first hardware update in over three years — meet the Whoop 5.0 and the Whoop MG (Medical Grade) — and these little wrist-huggers pack more tech than your average smartwatch, minus the actual screen.

Yes, you read that right. Whoop is doubling down on no screens, no step counts flashing at you mid-meeting, no pinging notifications as you try to zen out in yoga. Instead, it’s all about behind-the-scenes biohacking. Think: blood pressure tracking, ECG scans, Vo2 max readings, stress monitoring, and sleep scores that make your 2am TikTok scroll look… unwise.

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Want to know how old your body thinks it is? The new Physiological Age feature lets you know (after a data-gathering period of about three weeks — it’s not one for snap judgements). The MG version even brings in heart rhythm monitoring, atrial fibrillation detection and ECG readings with a simple pinch on the side of the device.

“The company saw a 70% increase in members last year,” said founder and CEO Will Ahmed. So yes, this isn’t just for pro athletes anymore. In fact, Whoop’s pitching itself to everyone from marathon runners to pregnant women — “almost everyone still looks toned,” the reviewer quips — thanks to its inclusive women’s health features.

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But it’s not all smooth sailing. The band? Still fiddly to fasten. Charging? Slower than your Monday brain. And the dealbreaker for some: the device is useless without a subscription. After a one-month trial, you’ll be shelling out $199/year — or more, depending on your plan.

Still, the Whoop app shines. It delivers your health metrics in clean, colour-coded rings: Sleep Score, Recovery Score, Strain Score. All the info, none of the guilt. Plus, no mention of BMI in sight (finally). Want to integrate with Apple Health or Strava? Go for it. MyFitnessPal, though? Not invited.

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For anyone tired of their smartwatch acting like a needy mini phone, Whoop offers a quieter kind of smart. “Its app manages to appeal to both versions of me: the committed athlete and the working mum,” says the reviewer.

So while Whoop’s not for everyone (especially those allergic to subscriptions or bad clasps), if you’re into quantified self-care and sleek tech that stays in the background, it might just be your wrist’s new best friend.

TL;DR: Screen-free, data-rich, and surprisingly thoughtful — Whoop’s new lineup isn’t just for gym bros anymore.