Technology is everywhere, and it’s rewiring childhood. From social media addiction to escalating mental health concerns among teens, tech isn’t just in the background-it’s front and centre. The challenge isn’t resisting it, but building healthy relationships with it.
In 2025, parenting sometimes feels like a tech survival course. The screens creep into bedrooms, group chats hijack dinner table time, and the child mental health headlines leave many of us (including non-parents) reeling.
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With decades of psychological research and lived experience as a mom of three teens, Dr. Jean Twenge offers the much-needed roadmap. Her new book ‘10 Rules for Raising Kids in a High-Tech World’ is a no-nonsense manual for parenting in an era ruled by notifications.
Technology use begins early in modern society
Her ten rules are practical, grounded in evidence, and-importantly-doable. She doesn’t demand you turn off all devices forever; she simply wants you to reclaim authority over the digital home. That means setting “No Social Media Until 16” rules, declaring no-phone zones like the dinner table or bedrooms, and enforcing them consistently.
Short, empowering, and timely, this book arms parents to tackle not just immediate online risks (like cyberbullying or inappropriate content) but also helps cultivate resilience, independence, and real-world skills.
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Twenge’s approach comes with endorsements and rave reviews from the heavyweights. “Jean Twenge was the first to sound the alarm when her 2017 viral Atlantic article asked: ‘Have smartphones destroyed a generation?’ … If you can apply even a few of these ten rules, you’ll have a happier family and healthier kids,” says Jonathan Haidt, NYU-Stern School of Business and #1 New York Times bestselling author of The Anxious Generation.
Likewise Michele Borba, Ed.D., Educational Psychologist and bestselling author of Thrivers explains, “This is the book every parent has been looking for-a practical guide that cuts through the hype with real-world advice to make your children safer and happier starting today.”
This is not a screed against tech but a plea to take charge of it before it takes charge of your child. “10 Rules is exactly the book parents everywhere need, right now, to help them keep their kids safe and healthy. It’s easy-to-use and grounded in Dr. Twenge’s decades of careful scholarship and her experiences as a mom. Highly recommend,” says Julie Scelfo, Founder of MAMA: Mothers Against Media Addiction.
In an excerpt from the book’s ‘Rule 1: You’re in Charge’ Twenge writes:
“Imagine that when you were a kid you went to your parents and said, ‘Now that I’m 10, I want you to buy me a gadget that costs $1,000 plus $40 for every month I have it. … And by the way, I’ll never look up from my hand again.’ They would have said no.”
“Or, maybe you’d try going to them and saying, ‘Now that I’m 12, I want to take 200 pictures of myself in a skimpy bikini and put them someplace where everyone in my school can see them …’ Again, they would have said no.”
“Today, most parents say yes to these requests. … With smartphones and social media, it’s become very easy for parents and kids to get swept up in what everyone else is doing. And everyone is doing it: On average, kids now get their first smartphone around age 11, and 38% of 10- to 12-year-olds use social media.”
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Her point: so many of the we-can’t-stop moments come from default surrender. But parents still must be the ones putting boundaries in place. In a world where handing over a smartphone is normal, stepping up as the arbiter feels alien-but it’s necessary.
For Gen X and older millennials, authority was simpler (if sometimes paternalistic). We swore off “because I said so” and replaced it with negotiation and empathy-but in the digital domain, absent clear rules, that approach often fails. Twenge allows for loving authority-yes, you can show your child you trust and respect them, while still drawing firm lines.
Dr. Jean M. Twenge’s latest book dives into the realities of parenting in the digital age
10 Rules for Raising Kids in a High-Tech World: How Parents Can Stop Smartphones, Social Media, and Gaming from Taking Over Their Children’s Lives
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The infrastructure of tech and child safety is evolving fast-and the rules are catching up. For instance, in the UK the Online Safety Act is about to reshape digital norms. Platforms will be forced to carry more accountability for harmful content aimed at children, enforce age checks, and ban or moderate toxic content more aggressively. But those rules also spark backlash: many users are turning to VPNs to bypass age verification hoops, raising fresh questions around privacy and enforcement. Meanwhile Instagram is deploying AI tools to flag underage accounts or hidden age fraud.
All this means parents aren’t just fighting devices-they’re swimming through a shifting digital architecture. A tech-savvy kid might spot loopholes faster than you can say “Airplane Mode.” Twenge’s rules offer guardrails in volatile terrain.
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Of course, books and laws can’t do it alone. Implementation is messy. Parents will need consistency, guts, and alliances. Hogging the Wi-Fi router or doing full device bans rarely holds in a home full of smart, stubborn, screen-first kids. What often works: family agreements, transparent reasoning and consequences that are meaningful-but not cruel.
Take, for example, a no-phone bedroom rule. If your teen refuses, consequences might include loss of device privileges, earlier bedtimes, or supervised screen time. But Twenge says execute with calm firmness, not threats. Encourage snooze-friendly wind-down alternatives (journals, reading, low-tech hobbies) to fill the nighttime void.
And as your child grows, the rules adapt. The framework Twenge lays out is not permanently rigid-but the job of gripping the rudder never ends.
At its core, 10 Rules for Raising Kids in a High-Tech World is a manifesto for reclaiming parenthood in a digital age. If you can adopt even a handful of these rules, Twenge argues, you tilt odds in your child’s favor.
At the end of the day, we can’t outrun technology. But we can define terms. We can show children that while the screen world is seductive, life is rich off the grid too. And in doing so, we might teach them that some things are more important than likes.
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